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Saturday, June 26, 2004
The most destructive habit..............................Worry
The greatest Joy.......................................Giving
The greatest loss........................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work.......................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.....................Selfishness
The most endangered species.................Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.......................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..................Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.........................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill................Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease....................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..........................Love
The most dangerous pariah..........................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer................The brain
The worst thing to be without.... . Hope
The deadliest weapon...............................The tongue
The two most power-filled words......................."I Can"
The greatest asset......................................Faith
The most worthless emotion..........................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire..............................SMILE!
The most prized possession......................... Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication.............Prayer
The most contagious spirit.........................Enthusiasm
Posted at 16:29 by JustJo
Monday, June 14, 2004
Hey folks,
Sorry I havn't updated in awhile...Actually, I don't think I'd even be updating now if it wasn't for the fact that I'm 100%, totally BORED!!! Someone wake me up!!! lol. Really boring honestly...I'm in between jobs, and nobody requires any help at the moment, so I'm spending 9 hours a day doing I think, practically, absolutely NOTHING!!! Someone save me...o pls...hehe
O wells, at least this is my last week of work experience. Apparently I'm suppose to go on a project meeting on Wednesday and a site meeting on Thursday. Hopefully I won't fall asleep yet...hehe. Catcha lataz
Posted at 16:03 by JustJo
Sunday, May 30, 2004
A hug is a wonderful gift to share,
A way to show each other that we care;
There is so much a hug is able to do,
When you feel those arms holding you.
A hug is a place to feel safe and warm,
A comfort for a sad heart that is torn;
An expression of the love in our heart,
For ones who we wish, never to be apart.
A hug is a greeting when we meet to say hello,
Or to say goodbye when we have to go;
It can hold us up when life gets us down,
And makes us smile, instead of frown.
A hug can be given for no reason at all,
And given to those, both big and small;
We're never too old to feel the joy it brings,
As it is one of life's most pleasing things.
And for all of this beauty, a hug is free!
It costs nothing, yet means so much to me;
We should all hug another to show we care,
For to feel a warm hug, nothing can compare.
Here's Your Virtual Hug from Me to YOU
For no reason at all except...I LIKE YA !!!
Posted at 15:10 by JustJo
Saturday, May 29, 2004
Wonderful, another night, another death. They say that in one night you're suppose to have like fifteen or twenty dreams. I remember three from last night, and guess what!!! They're all about death. This time it's more a revenge dream...
Someone hated us. Someone wanted us dead. Someone had us put on a ship with only desks and a hidden pool table. I remember we were on a ship, I was ready to accept my fate for there was nothin we could do after being put on that island. I began to think ahead, thinking that the tables on the ship (if there were no trees) can be used to help us build shelter, along with any other necessity. We talked on the ship, we each assigned a desk to ourselves. I had first choice, but I didn't know which one to choose. They each possessed a different quality, and the area they each had a different quality of air. I couldn't decide for the longest time. I didn't in the end, neither did anybody else. We finally docked at the island and it was there I realised that other then our own cabin, there were many other's like us. I also realised that there was a mall on the island, for some strange reason. Me and my friends went in to see what it was like. There were so many of us, and we discovered many other's like us who were there before us for the same reasons. We went into the mall, unknowingly excited and happy. The previous people avoided us. We didn't know why, but it didn't bother us. We were then attacked, many of us, me included. A red haze covered my vision, intense pain. Out of habit, to avoid pain I tried to calm myself. The haze disapeared, but those I went to the mall with were scared when they looked at me...then I knew why. I looked around and many people, their eyes were turning red. Filled with blood, blood pouring out of the eyes. Their faces mottled and becoming redder by the minute. Then suddenly, their eyes popped...and they died. Just like that. I stared, unbelieving, until I realised my friends were worried that I would do the same...instinctively I knew I wouldn't. I told them so. Everybody looked at me wierd, but for some reason I knew the reason why all this was happening. Anybody who became highly emotional in any way, be it happy or angry or scared would experience death in this painful way...the curse of the island. But if once experienced and survived, you would never experience it again. Thus we returned to the ship where it was safe. Anybody willing to try the mall would call me to keep an eye on them. But no matter what I did, they always died. By the end, there was so much blood on my hands...I woke up.
I slept again, this time returning to the dream, excpet there was only a small group of survivors, scarily enough it was the group from Taylor's that I always hung out with. For some reason I was treated with reverence and considered the leader. I didn't complain, for they needed me. I don't remember much, but I remember we were in the mall at an ice skating rink, and someone was throwing a tennis ball into the audience, and the audience throwing it back. He began to throw it about five times or so to my group, as if he were aiming for someone. I realised it was me. I took the ball and weakly threw it back, for I could feel my arm had weakened considerably. Livee was there saying it was alright, eventhough I was scared, for the sudden weakness of my arms scared me too much. I don't remember much after that, but for some reason there was an evil, and I was made to save all...superhero kinda thing...I could even fly...cool huh? As the dream continued, with me saving and playing the hero, another wierd thing that happened was that a partner came onto the scene...Bryan!?!? wierd huh...
Anyway, I gtg, lunch time!!! ciao folks...
Posted at 13:40 by JustJo
Friday, May 28, 2004
www.quizilla.com
Heyy its a wonderful Friday night!!!
And I'm B.O.R.E.D!!!!!
He he pretty sad I know but I'm gonna go on a quiz marathon!!!
First up is a fashion test! In case any of you guys need help on buying me a present *wink wink*
DKNY: Classic with clean edges and very business like. You don't like to get outrageous or overly boisterous. Keep It Simple is your motto and you do it well.
I am the GREEK GOD OF SLEEP!!! Dare to challenge my power!!! Muahaha
For those who say they're not surprised by this next one will be in trouble!
Although this may explain my love for the night and its dark creatures...muahaha
You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying. "And The Vampire was all that remained on the blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow life from the dead. But as she was about to give the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the cycle began again." Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek) and Isis (Egyptian). The Vampire is associated with the concept of death, the number 9, and the element of fire. Her sign is the eclipsed moon. As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic individual. You may be a little idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but you savor every minute of the good times. While you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you have strong ties with people that will never be broken. Vampires are the best friends to have because they are sensible.
Yummy, yummy...married to a hunky, hot movie star...dreamy...*salivating*
Your are going to marry tom cruise. He is older and wiser and still is quite charming. Congrats!
I drift...I hide...I am a whisper through the forest...I am a nymph of the natural world...
You are an angel of the forest. You love to have a good time and to get in trouble. For you, it's all fun and games. You like to have friends, preferably not human, and can converse with all animals. You love to party, and like to be alone. You are a deep person, but most people miss it. Thinking that you are just childish and young. Which you are not. You are old, and wise, even if nobody can see it. You know what the real world is like, better that your peers. You have a naturally beatiful singing voice, and are a natural with most instruments. You can often loose your self. But will always find yourself again. For that is just who you are. Be happy. Never change. Because you are beautiful.
I am lord of the skies...I am beauty and elegance all in one...I am the dragon...
You are a silver dragon. The rarest kind of dragon. YOu are noble yet avoid humans as much as possible. You are the guardian of the defensless and you rule the skies.
This is soo me...I am totally twisted...;p
You have a twisted soul! Twisted Souls are never bad, and actually, are a rarity amongst souls. These souls are a little combination of everything, with always a little of their own chaos to add. Twisted Souls are kind, loving, weird, zany, temperamental, and very talented. They have their own firm opinion, and can at one time be very outspoken and passionate, and the other time shy and feeling insignificant. Twisted Souls have good senses of Humor and other times can be a bore. You can act quite intelligent at one time, and grasp concepts easily, while other times they can find it difficult to understand. Twisted Souls are always very fun and Kind, and can be party animals. But, if you love someone, youre serious about it, intense, and forever loyal. Congratulations-the world should have more like you.
Posted at 22:27 by JustJo
Hmm...what a wierd dream I just had. I'm not sure what it means, but it certainly is disturbing. There was death, disease, monsters, grief, sorrow, revenge, assault, murder. Everything and anything to do with death was in my dream. I woke up totally disturbed and for the first time in many a blue moon, I had a bad morning...he he (Don't believe me!!!). Is it right when a person dreams of the death of their family and friends?!? Hmm....there definitely is something wrong with me...he he.
How wierd, the dream was based about this ghost disease that possessed dead corpses. So in order to survive, it would kill people with those they already posses and take over. Unforturnately my family was the chosen starting point. It was soo sad, the only parts I remember was watching my mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, everybody was one by one, killed about me. Their bodies immdiately turned into 'beef jerky'. So the disease would posses the corpses and the bodies would become zombies in a way. But the disease would show itself in the corpses eyes as two small figures...*shudder*. Me and my little cousin, Rachel were the only survivors for when the carnage started, my uncle before he died put the keys to his car into my hands and told me to take any survivors and drive, "DRIVE AWAY". We went, and drove and drove not knowing what to do, for we had nothing to our names anymore, then we remembered we had one more surviving family. We met them and tried to leave the city on a train, but unknowingly my cousing was carrying the diesease dormantly. She got taken, and the diesease also took the family we met. The mother was pregnant with three small children. I was the only one left. I remembered walking for weeks and weeks after that. Just walking in a state of desolation, fear and misery. I walked until I could not walk anymore. My legs just would not support me anymore, I entered a restaurant that for some reason looked familiar. I then saw my friends...all of them, but the people I remember most was Nadia and Don. Odd...huh? Upon sight of Nadia I collapsed and went into a deep sleep, everybody ran over worried...I woke up...
If anybody out there knows how to interpret dreams, please give me a yoller. I've got a large book of dreams from my growing life of 18...I'd love to have them interpreted...he he. Alota of them twisted...typical of me I know ;p.
Posted at 09:23 by JustJo
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Screaming, Shouting, Yelling...When will it end
It's days like this when I'm really glad I didn't go to dinner. People keep asking me, "Jo, why do you always go home so late?" or "Jo are you always out?". *bitter laughter* For a very good reason.
You know, when I went overseas, it was the best times of my life. For the first time in years, I felt so free. Free and Happy. I didn't have to hold myself back, I didn't need to put up my mask (well at least not everyday), I didn't need to keep on lying to my friends, and myself. I didn't even need to convince myself that I was happy. Odd when a child so young has to convince everybody that nothing is wrong. Everything is right in the world we live in.
I guess this is why I suddenly became a bookworm. It's the perfect place to hide my sorrows and drown myself in the lives of others and in a world so perfect that I didn't need to worry about the 'evils'. It's true though, I honestly, absolutely, really hated books as a youth. I wouldn't even touch my school books. Can you believe I went through primary school without once studying!! I used to just sit in class, listen to whatever the teacher said and hoped that I would remember it for the exam. Funny how I used to only 'just' pass. I couldn't care less about school at the time.
If only I never found that stupid letter. I wish I never saw the birth certificate. I wish I didn't have to grow up so fast during those years. You know, I sometimes felt like a priest, cos I always had either my mom or my dad coming to me, dragging me away so that they could have someone to talk to. GOD!!! I was only 12!!! I didn't need to learn about the harshities of life so early.
It was so wierd, I began acting as a parent to my siblings, my mom was too distressed about what happened, my brother and sister had no idea what was happening (I wasn't allowed to tell anyone...trust me, the burden wasn't light) and my dad was being his usual pigheaded self as usual. He never listens and he pursposely does not want to understand.
I was so happy overseas. When I was home I used to get into fights with my father every other day. I couldn't help myself. I trusted my father, I idolised him. He sure as hell broke that beautiful illusion. God, how we fought. I even got myself thrown out of the house because of my stupid temper, pride and the fact that I just couldn't look at my father anymore without feeling disgusted.
"Ignorance is Bliss"
(That is so true. You have no idea how true). I hated coming home from boarding school. I could garantee that out of two or three week holiday home, I would get into at least, minimum, two fights with my dad. Trust me, I don't usually start them, I was just a convienient dart board for his anger...
I used to be such a nobody (would you believe it! Seriously!) I was like a wallpaper. All quiet and not caring about anybody or anything. People rarely noticed me, and I like it that way. I was happy with just me and my family.
When I found out though...
I saw what it did to my mom. I swear, I DON'T EVER WANT THAT TO BE ME!!!
NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!NEVER!!
She was so hopeless and lost. She wanted to leave but she couldn't. What could she do, she was too dependent on my father. Her side of the family wasn't going to help. The only ones who would are in Switzerland and Singapore, and both are facing bad times. I swore to myself after seeing my mom that I'll never let that happen to me. No matter how much I love the guy. I just couldn't bring myself to get hurt like that. Not only did what my dad do hurt my mom, but me to. I hated that feeling. My heart felt like it broke into a million peices and got scattered into too many small and far away places to ever find again. It took me so many years to piece back what I could find and I still havn't found all the pieces. I think I only found about 10 out of a billion broken pieces. After I was hurt I built a wall around myself that nobody could penetrate, not even my best friends. That wall is not as strong now, I can feel it, but...it's still there.
I'm so scared to let it down. I don't want anybody, be it friend or foe, to break my heart again. It's just too painful. You know I still cry at night sometimes. I just can't hold it in anymore and I just let the tears fall. Sometimes I even let a small scream out. My sister has heard it before, she get's really scared when I do.
Eventhough I'm scared to open my heart though, there is one thing that's scares me more...I am so afraid that I'll never find someone who would just hold me and love me for who I am. Someone who can understand me and who is not afraid to just do things...You know I was never hugged as a child?? I used to see my brother and sister recieve hugs from friends and families, but for some reason, I was always overlooked. It's the reason why I always treasure any hug I recieve, any present I recieve, any small gift imparted my way...
I think, out of all my memories, there is one image that stands out the most. Have you ever seen someone try to kill themself? It's not a pretty sight. I saw my mother take down 30 sleeping pills. I saw her lying on the couch near death. The feelings of loss I felt then were...
I'm sorry to anybody who has ever experiences a coldness, a brush off or anything negative from me...I honestly do not mean it. I'm just not sure how to show my emotions in the right way. Please forgive and give me time to learn. I am still hurting and still healing...
Posted at 21:33 by JustJo
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Friends Are Always There For Each Other
 If you ever need a helping hand then don't hesitate to call.......  And if one day you need to talk then just e-mail me....I am sure I'll e-mail back...... But if one day you call or e-mail and there's no reply then maybe it's cos i need you......
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Posted at 16:18 by JustJo
I totally planned to stay in today...really. I had some more rendering to do for PRA and needed to finish them by tomorrow, but then I got a call from my Ko Ko last night asking me to join him for some yummy bak u teh...he he. Since he asked so nicely and sweetly how could I say no ;p.
It was really wierd though, from the moment I woke up this morning, something has been bothering me. I know what it is, but...
I've been really quiet all day today (sorry guys) I honestly couldn't help it, and Melvin, Aaron and Vincent weren't helping...he he. How in the world does one expect me to converse with these guys in Mandarin when I can barely understand them as it is. I tried to pay attention to them, but my mind just kept drifting back to my problem. It's even still bugging me...sigh.
Anyway, had a really good day today otherwise. Got to hang with my friends (which I've been looking forward to all week, I mean you can only enjoy the office life for so long) and kacau Bryan at Famous Amous. I swear though, laughing boy here really wants me to grow fat, the way he keeps feeding me. Sure by the end of the year I'll be as a big as a hippo...lol. If you're reading this Bryan, thnx again (for the food, not for making me put on weight ;p)...he he.
Anyway, got to get back to my rendering. I heard during work that my boss is a real hitler in the firm (he's been away to Melbourne to go to Sarah (his daughter's) exeat weekend and graduation dinner) so, I definitely don't want to cross blades with him...he he. Cya
Posted at 16:00 by JustJo
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Today was sooo fun!!! It's been like MOVIE MANIA day. I've been in front of the tube and the cinema screen all day...he he. Having a real blast.
Went to the cinema at 1:30pm today...OMG, SHREK 2 WAS A BLAST!!! It was soooo funny and cute. I especially, ESPECIALLY LOVED PUSS 'N' BOOTS!!! He is totally adorable with the dreamy voice of ANOTONIO BANDERAS. OMG, this cat was absolutely adorable!!! just look at it...
Couldn't you just drown in those soulful eyes...AAWWW. It's soooo cute!!!
I not only fell in love with puss 'n' boots, but many of the new and old characters to. Donkey for example honestly made a really dashing stallion with it's trots and shape...wow, he he ;p. Eddie murphy really knows how to crack the jokes.
Oh oh, and did you know that Prince Charming was voiced by Rupert Everett!!! He's voice is totally so dreamy and 'charming' perfect for the role...lol. But I have to say I do not believe that Prince Charming is cute at all, charming but that's about all.
Wow, wat a movie. Anyway I got back home early!! (for once ;p) Immediately watched Battle Royal II, It's a japanese movie about kids being dragged into a killing game on an island. It's really a good movie, I would rate about 8/10. Recommended to you guys to watch this movie, eventhough it's in japanese, I honestly say this movie is really an eye opener. Of course after this I couldn't resist watching some Japanese Anime, as my friends SHOULD know, Japanese Anime is totally my thing...he he.
My movie marathon didn't stop there, after dinner I immdiately watched JU ON with my bro and sis. We turned up the volume and turned off all the lights...totally loved it. After this, to top off the day, we decided to watch Gothika, also in the dark...muahaha. Life in the horror films is good *evil thoughts and intent*.
 
Sorry folks, but I gtg, have to finish watching my movies...he he. Night y'all.
Posted at 22:55 by JustJo
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